A lot of people ask me about how my liberation from employment has been. I always brush them off with a vague “ok laaa” or “surviving” or more recently, “it’s not bad, I’ve made new imaginary friends”.

Yes, as a fulltime freelance copywriter, I do tend to spend the majority of my working hours on my own at home. And as a writer, that’s a good thing, except when my upstairs neighbor decides to rearrange their furniture all of the sudden… damn you!

Row, row, row your boat... until you become a robot... all together now!

Solitude let’s me tap into whatever is left in the inner reaches of my mind, where incidentally my imaginary buddies lurk.

Okay enough about my imaginary friends; they are apparently blog-shy.

So as a fulltime freelancer, things are quite different these days. While my work still revolves around clients and deadlines, there is always this sense of uncertainty that lurks over my head.

But to be honest, it is the same feeling of uncertainty I felt when I was employed. But now, I am in control – everything is entirely up to me – which is a feeling like no other. It is a feeling of exhilaration and pride one moment, then anxiety and insecurity the next. Not for the faint of heart for sure.

Ahhh yes, I’ve also become quite adept at ‘freelancer speak’, which are things freelancers say to make things look better than they actually are or just to be nice, for example:

When I Say  > I Actually Mean

I am in between projects > I got nothing to do
I just came from another meeting > I had better things to do
Sorry I didn’t answer, I was in a meeting > Sorry, I just woke up
This weekend? Oh… I’m out of town > You crazy arr?!
Let me know what you think >  Don’t think so much

Errr… you guys know this post is just for laughs right?

Yes, it’s been a while. Work as usual has been coming thick and fast, and hence the mini hiatus. Anyway, this busyness business got me thinking. All these work and briefs and copy and clients are making me feel I’ve been doing this for far too long. And hence the following been-there-done-that points to ponder…

1. You actually know how a SyQuest Drive looks.
2. Cows remind you of a certain type of adhesive.
3. You think Ronson lighter fluid cures all.
4. You have a neat collection of mounting boards, cutters, double-sided tape and spray mount nicked from the office for personal use.
5. You realise you haven’t seen an actual illustrator (a person) for yonks.
6. You start to notice that clients get younger and younger and younger.
7. You still subscribe to the print version of ADOI.
8. You look at newbies and think “aren’t they in for a hell of a ride?”, then give them a sinister smile.
9. You know almost half of all the colour separators, printers and translators in town.
10. You know a client that has changed jobs 5 times and still keeps in touch.
11. You start to pick out other ad-sters in a crowded mall just to kill time.
12. You actually know the difference between AAAA and MAA.
13. You get irritated by the ads on TV more than anyone else.
14. You own 15 pairs of jeans, of which you wear only 3 to 4 pairs.
15. You are an addict of one or more of the following: caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and the worst… work!

P.S.    Damn I feel ancient!

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The revolution will not be advertised.

The revolution will not make the art director swear any more than he already does. It will not make him tell his children (if he ever has a social life to have any) never to become a designer. It will not make him make revisions just to get the job out of the way. It will not make him want to claw his eyeballs out when the clients wants the creative to be more colourful. It will not make him tired, spent and suicidal by the time he is 35.

The revolution will not make the copywriter thinking of becoming a chef. It will not make him stay up late writing lame scripts and short stories. It will not make him regurgitate copy written for another client about 2 years ago. It will not make him a go-to guy to write proposals, letters, memos and whatnot. It will not cause excessive substance abuse to calm frayed nerves. It will not make him contemplate a move to the ‘other side’.

The revolution will not make the creative director re-hash the same concept over again for different clients. It will not make him think that things were better and the new blood are all shit. It will not make him sacrifice great ideas for client preference. It will not make him want to open a quiet little pub with his life savings. It will not put him through the misery of another pitch where his team is just there to make up the numbers. It will not make him curse the client behind their backs.

The revolution will not be advertised, because the revolution is alive.

To be continued… by the way, no gender bias intended.

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